Monday, October 20, 2008

define: sully

One of my favourite websites of recent times is - a vast educational resource that I use to inform myself on a vast number of topics, from internet memes I haven't encountered to the non-standard use of a word that doesn't make sense in its usual context. Most crucially, UrbanDictionary has minimised those awkward moments in which I must ask an acquaintance what a phrase means, only for him to describe a sexual act so depraved that it surely only exists in theory.

Putting that randomly-divulged piece of trivia to one side for a moment, I'll introduce another! Lame as it is to admit, I get a small kick out of the fact that my nickname (and blogging handle) is also a verb:

sul·ly [suhl-ee] verb, -lied, -ly·ing, noun, plural -lies. –verb (used with object) soil, stain, or tarnish. mar the purity or luster of; defile: to sully a reputation.
–verb (used without object) become sullied, soiled, or tarnished.
I've gotten some mileage out of this over the years - even if it mostly consists of me lecherously threatening to 'sully' my girlfriend when I've run out of idle threats to send her way - but until today I've never been bored enough to look it up on UrbanDictionary. Of the 17 results, some of them are quite mundane, others are quite funny, and one or two evoked an irrational paranoia that the author could conceivably be talking about me! So let's have a looksee, eh?

A charismatic,but cheeky person with the power to annoy and entertain people around the world.can be random and unpredictable at the best of times.

a ''sully'' is sitting in the corner.girl sits down with a lot of food. sully:woah,take it easy on the munch there. girl:are u calling me fat? sully:are you calling me a liar?
"Random"? Maybe. "Entertaining"? Why not! They even incorporated my latent misogyny into the usage example! Urban Dictionary is great! Let's see what else is on here...

This one was posted on my 22nd birthday (I kid you not!):

[...] Favours the nazi regime over drunk easy women!! [...]

Sullys eyes are imfamous for giving people the impression that he is imagining having sexual relations with underagers![...]

Also believes to be batman...this is just a excuse for him to dress up in the costume so he fits in with the kids!
sully.....i tink ur of the homo majority!
Hmmm... Not sure I like this one quite as much. Some of these accusations are mere misunderstandings, of course. I would rather be reading about the Nazi regime than entertaining intoxicated women, but who wouldn't? The perma-pensive look on my face could understandably be misconstrued as intent to play the kiddie fiddle in today's paedophile-obsessed society, and my Batman impersonating proclivities hark back to a childhood obsession with a certain Snickers ad, and nothing more.

Let's look at another one:
a male child who strangely resembles shirley temple and will not shut the fuck up. Most teachers hate "sully" and wish him to never speak again. A "Sully" will frequently ask stupid questions that will either end up in a very short sentence, or a reprimand for asking something so stupid (if a reprimand occurs a "Sully" will give a long, unnecessary explanation of what was going on through his mind when he asked the question). Somehow he manages to pull good grades out of his ass. He also embarrasses himself in front of others and then when laughed at he says, "I did it on purpose to get a laugh."
NOTE: "Sully" is capable of saying "you know" 14 times in a short monologue.
Sully, shut the fuck up!

This person has to be talking about me - I do pull good grades out of my ass, I am prone to asking questions then explaining my motivations for doing so, and I do on occasion sacrifice my dignity to amuse others. And while it's true that teachers to find me quite offensive, the part of the description that tips me off the most that I'm being attacked anonymously by the internets is this irrefutable evidence:

Of course, not all of the entries are a libel on my character - it seems that there are alternative uses for the word 'sully' that cast the aforementioned idle threat to my girlfriend in a much more sinister light:

Get a girl mid-orgasm, pass out drunk and pee inside of her.
"I've been cleaning piss out of my vagina all day because some asshole gave me a Sully last nite."

Hmmm... I'm not quite sure what the point of this exercise was, but it's soured my opinion on Urban Dictionary somewhat. Ban this sick filth!


Holly said...

Sull- did you see What Esch means in Urban dictionary? Evidently I am good with the ladies- oooh yess.

Sully said...

I did see what Esch 'means'! Your itty-bitty away message was what 'inspired' this rather despicable 700+ ramble!

I was going to give you credit, but I forgot - it was the rambling Hol! It went on so long I forgot why I was even doing it anymore!