I feel as though the air-hostess on my most recent transatlantic flight judged me when she looked down at the iPod touch on my tray table and saw the screen:
A few days later, when listening to music, my girlfriend spotted the same picture, and not realizing that it was the 'Now Playing' screen, assumed I had changed my background from the super-cute picture of us to 400lbs plus of man flesh shoved into a cardboard box. I decided it was more fun to let her believe this.
I came down with a dose of labyrinthitis a few weeks ago - it gobbled up a few days where I did little more than stay in bed, which I then followed up by a week living as a total shut-in, scarcely venturing outside. It was pretty dull, and I still don't feel like I've regained full mental acuity (or as close to it as I generally get).
4. I'm keeping my options open
I'm studying for the GRE, a standardised test of basic maths and English skills I need to take to get into one of the United States' fine graduate schools. Realising how close the application deadlines were, I booked in for this coming Monday, leaving me with a grand total of two weeks to study. While I'm feeling good about the English stuff, my revision of 'basic maths' hasn't progressed much further than watching a purple dinosaur singing "two plus two is four" whilst rocking on the spot.
After gushing about how fantastic 'Better Off Ted' is, I was pointed towards the creator's previous sitcom endeavour, the ill-fated 'Andy Richter Controls the Universe', and Any Richter's subsequent sit-com vehicle, 'Andy Barker, P.I.' Whilst suppurating at home, why try to eke productivity out of your weary body when you can chuckle at the misadventures of a rather funny chubbier-than-your-average everyman?
Okay, I can't find a decent one for 'Andy Barker, P.I.', so here's another one from 'Andy Richter Controls The Universe':
2. I take cold showers now
I generally take long showers, greedily standing under the hot water while my mind wanders. Despite how pleasant or comfortable my body-state is, my mind does wander to some odd places, and I'll often sit at computer whilst still dripping wet to vituperate something or someone that hadn't really crossed my mind before then.
For at least the last month, the boiler has been acting up, so the most enjoyable part of the bathing experience is the tepid water near the beginning of the shower. This turns what was once a relaxing experience into a race against the clock, that may or may not include the frenetic scrubbing of nether regions, depending on the heat levels.
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