Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sulliver's Travels

To anyone out there who has cousins much younger than yourself, lend me your sympathetic ear!

In May, my grandfather turned 90 years old. The following pictures are from the resulting celebration that gathered most of the family.

When I walked into the room, two of my cousins and my 6 year old brother grabbed my feet and demanded I walk whilst they clung on for dear life.

When I refused to walk in case one of them got hurt, I got punched in the balls.

As the throbbing sensation worked its way up into my abdomen, I decided I should comply with the munchkins' request. I walked back over to my chair, and sat down, much to their dismay.

Sitting down didn't quite quell their interest in 'playing', however. It just gave them new targets.

Following a harrowing few moments of clawing, kicking and screaming (on my part), I made a dash for the bathroom, thinking that they surely wouldn't follow me there.

Amazingly enough, my plan worked, and I hid in the bathroom until I could hear the drone of everyone singing 'Happy Birthday'. Other than the scratches and marks on my arms, I escaped with a shattered testicle, a small chunk taken out of my right ear, and a deep toothmark on my left buttock.

I'm not looking forward to the 100th birthday celebration.

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