Friday, August 31, 2007

Sully in 'Not Every Post is a Corker' shocker!

The world is a scary place, filled with many diverse lifestyles that are all clamouring for mainstream recognition and respect. These nutters wouldn't be so empowered had we just held out a little longer on giving women the vote, but I digress.

I am a nerd. Or a dork, I'm not quite sure which camp I belong in. Today, I'm going to highlight one facet of my multi-facetedness to aid you in deciding what it is I should be labelled as. In the lexicon of Sully, a nerd is regarded as one who delves deeper into cultural artefacts than their peers- Generally computers or audio/visual type stuff. A dork, meanwhile, is one I consider to be a person who pokes fun at themselves and has a general lack of regard for how one views their deviations from cultural norms... Dorks are more entertaining, nerds are more useful.

I've always had an inkling that I may in fact be a dork, but it wasn't until I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend's mother (which caused me to laugh hysterically), that I realised I may suffer from a potent strand of the dork-virus. But what gift prompted such guffaws on my part?


She sent me Superman Cookies!

She spent $20 postage on $1.98 worth of cookies, which I thought was the funniest thing ever... (Seems those dorks aren't hard to amuse)

But how did she know?

Tuesday, August 23, 2006 – Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
After JetBlue Airlines lost my luggage leaving me with just the clothes on my back, I go to Wal-Mart to tide me over. One of the items purchased consists of a blue T-shirt, the other, a blue pair of boxer shorts, both emblazoned with the Superman logo.


I decided not to include any pictures of the underpants. Trust me. It's better this way.

Wednesday, August 24th 2006 – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

As I had recently moved into a new dorm, I needed bed clothes. I walked to the nearest K-Mart and purchased a Superman bedspread, happy to pay extra for ostensibly cheaper material. Despite the constant scratching sound whenever I moved a muscle, and the rug-burn that ensues, the bedspread survives nine months until it has to be jettisoned for country-fleeing-reasons, leading to a tearful farewell.

Sunday, October 8th 2006 – Eau Claire, Wisconsin
An attempt at seducing a woman whilst wearing Superman underwear proves unsuccessful – Superman underwear not considered to blame.

Monday, January 29th 2007 – Chicago, Illinois
Whilst browsing the closing down sale at a department store in Chicago, I come across a Superman Returns Action figure reduced to under $5. Having spent my busfare, I walked two and a half hours back to my accommodation in the freezing cold, losing a nipple in the process. Nipple deemed 'a worthy sacrifice'.

Friday, May 18th 2007 – Limerick, Ireland
For my 21st birthday, my 6 year old brother presented me with 21 cents and a cheap toy he had just acquired from a lucky bag at a birthday party. To date it holds the honour of being the most thoughtful gift I've ever received.



Monday, June 4th, 2007 – Gurnee, Illinois
Insisted on being taken to the Six Flags Great America theme park to ride the Superman rollercoaster. Proceeded to grope a statue of Supes. Left park with Superman-branded coffee-cup from the giftshop – the second Superman themed birthday present I received for my 21st birthday.



Friday, 31st August 2007 – Limerick, Ireland
Referred to Superman as 'Supes' whilst typing a blog entry.

As you can see – I have quite the affinity for benevolent aliens sporting nifty tights. This healthy obsession of mine has been with me for longer than I can remember. It's possibly coloured my sense of humour, as I consider 'Seinfeld' to be the zenith of TV entertainment; maybe something to do with Jerry Seinfeld being a kindred spirit who scatters Man Of Steel references throughout his sitcom?

Bah, it's late. I have to wrap this up somehow, but if I can't find a point to get to, I'll have to wrap this up using some cunning distraction...

3 comments:

Sully said...

Son of a bitch! Another website has stolen my content... The same post, too... These things make no sense whatsoever!

http://qnqmyrnakelly.liholisticdirectory.com/2007/08/13/sluttily-attired/

Monsieur Heelan said...

Erm... unhealthy obsession aside, why are you cupping Supermans scrotum?

Megamus Maximus said...

Batmans better