Saturday, January 17, 2009

You're all sick

Forgive the rather constipated updating schedule as of late - I just got back from a delightful fortnight in the States (yet again) and I jumped back into work before I had a chance to undo the slight jet lag that is currently serving as a convenient excuse for the annoyance you've felt every time you checked back here over the past fifteen days and seen no new content

Thinking about the lack of content got me thinking (duh) - what exactly brings people here? From time to time an odd Google keyword has come to my attention, but I thought it would be interesting to trawl through 700+ long list of search terms that have brought weary Internet wanderers to my humble blog and highlight the most noteworthy. The results may disturb you.


This one shouldn't really surprise anyone, but it is a little unnerving when people type in random details about me and find their way here:

Miscellaneous Dating Advice

I'm pretty good with the ladies - and the men! Google is only too aware of this, so when desperate souls seek advice with critical relationship issues that lesser men dare not tackle, they get sent my way:

Metaphysical Contemplation

Another predictable one - there are vast numbers of people who share in my childish habit of picking on the more feeble-minded of the faith-inclined (which is cruel the same way that tapping the side of an aquarium to upset defenseless goldfish is), so a few wise men inevitably follow the shining star to my site:


Face it - that's the very reason you're online right now - you've only got this page up to convince your roommate that you're not looking at dirty stuff, but I know better than that - heck, given the sheer volume of kinky keywords that crop up on the system, I'd be surprised if you didn't have a bestiality fetish:

And thus ends another educational insight into the wonders that the Internet throws up from time to time! I would write something more in depth about these if it didn't take me half a year to display them in an attractive format (and if it wasn't 3.30am), so do my work for me - are there any keywords particularly noteworthy in this pile that surprised/didn't surprise you?

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