Friday, March 13, 2009

Another sceptic succumbs to religious rhetoric

It's going to be a slow blogging week, as my noble MacBook is enjoying some spa treatment in Dublin, and my mostly-imaginary girlfriend has suddenly materialised herself in physical form and demanding my attention (as far as figments of my imagination go, she's pretty convincing).

Anyhow, to give you an idea of the kind of effort that will be going into this blog until these two abberations have been corrected, I present some copy and pasting:

To: Sully
From: Jay-Jigga
Subject: Incoming Spam

I was in my gran aunt's house the other day. The room was covered in religious paraphernalia - Jesus, teh vurgin Mary, Padre Pio, crosses. She says "I have a book you might want to read". With a kind of sagacious, knowing look, she hands me "Gangster's Guide to God" - how some ex-thug / wannabe-gangster found God and now preaches the message of Jesus to youths. (She hates that we're all atheists, cuz we're gonna burn for eternity, plus there'll be noone to pray over her grave.)

I was bored, trapped amongst relatives, so I read the first chapter.

Wow. I'm a fuckin believer now, dawg. Seriously.

The thug was feeling very low, after he had almost killed some guy by punching him in the face with a knuckle duster, so he cried out "what has i dones! I am teh sinner!" and a presence from above permeated him and told him "you is teh sinner. Change ur ways r u will goes to hell" and at that moment he "knew - not believed - knew" there was a god. And then, sitting behind his typewriter, the author of this magnificent book went for the kill, with words of paradigm-exploding subtle wisdom and intricate philosophical profundity: just because you say “God is a fairytale”, it doesn’t mean he is, in the same way that me saying “you, Sully, are a fairytale” doesn’t mean you don’t exist.

Saaavee me Jebus!
I think she wanted to make the point that, anyone - even the most depraved piece of shit (read: me) - can turn around and find god.

1 comment:

Jason said...

I gave her back the book, told her it was interesting. She was glad to get it back. Possibly, she feared I would rip it apart and set fire to it.

Right now I'm almost finished Derren Brown's book "Tricks of the Mind" - I highly recommend it. The chapter "Anti-Science, Pseudo-Science, and Bad Thinking" is excellent.