All aboard the discipline ship

I like lent. I've told you this before.

I'll take a pass the dogma from the kiddy-fiddler-facilitators who promulgate the practice, but I quite like the seasonal imperative to impose a bit of self-restraint.

Not only that, but it always makes for a few fun conversations with friends and acquaintances: from the initial announcement of the overly-ambitious lenten vow, to the cognitive dissonance reduction that transpires once those few salvos of weakness cause significant structural damage to the discipline-ship, and the entire endeavour is scrapped.

This lent, like the last lent I blogged about (2 whole years ago), to celebrate the forty days and forty nights of rain that God used to begin his creation anew (I prefer the models that you shake to start again), I'm putting a stop to my habit of guzzling sweet, sweet carbonated beverages.

Since most significant events in my life are logged on this blog, I looked it up: I announced the last soda fast on March 6th 2008 - two weeks since my last Coke, and I caved in to temptation on May 11th when illness and exams got the better of me.

This duration is impressive in hindsight - especially considering I've gone three days without a Coke and I still feel the need to yammer about my abstinence to bolster my resolve.

Like the Lenten-teetotallers who perseverate over the proper course of action to take on a St Patrick's Day that will cruelly take place during the planned dry-spell, I too am wondering how my self-governance will cope during my upcoming trip to the States and its bountiful supplies of the elixir known as Mountain Dew.

Who else is joining in the forgoing fun of Lent? (Got any good special pleadings to share so I can score some 'Dew?)

Kicking the Coke™ Habit

I’m not one for religion, or any forms of superstition, for that matter, but I like this whole Lent thing that comes around every so often.

I’m also a big fan of discipline, particularly self-discipline, and especially self-restraint; something you don’t see much of in Irish society, especially where alcohol is involved.

Another thing I’m a big fan of; carbonated beverages. Particularly Coca-Cola, and especially Mountain Dew (Americans and other European countries have access to this bottled happiness, but I don’t, so I resent them for it). Despite being aware of how catastrophically bad it is for one’s health, I still gulped down around 500ml to 2 litres a day, such was my addiction.

I’ve heard zany things about these fizzy drinks eroding stomach lining, messing with stomach acids, and killing sperm, but hearing these things from cross-eyed, slack-jawed, drooling yokels only impaired on my drinking for as long as it took to scoff at them.

You’ll notice that I’ve been referring to my coke-drinking antics in the past-tense. The catalyst for this decision occurred two weeks into Lent, upon hearing my aunt (a doctor of some description), tell me that colas have been linked with osteoporosis. Being a man who likes use his willpower as a means of shitting on people from a great height, I reckoned it was only prudent to avail of this vast resource of resolve and excise Coke from my life! For the remainder of Lent, at least.

So far? Two and a half weeks have passed and I’ve still got a clean sheet. It’s had quite an affect. For starters, my consumption of Coke has been entirely supplanted by water, and since I replaced 500ml dosages for 1 litre bottles, I've noticed a 300% increase in urination. I’ve been sleeping better (could be for other reasons, but still noteworthy), and best of all, my teeth haven’t been assaulted by the scummy residue that Coke leaves in the mouth.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that this isn’t my first time giving up the black stuff – I spent a solid 9 months under a similar embargo a few years back, but my girlfriend at the time eventually annoyed me into reneging on my decision. It has been five years since that incident, and I’m happy to say that it’s a lot easier nowadays, from a purely practical point of view. For instance, that incident I glossed over came about because of McDonalds miserly policy of granting a pitiful 150ml bottle of Orange Juice with a meal that was otherwise accompanied with 500ml of syrup and carbonated water, for the same price! The fact that health consciousness is now fashionable bodes well for cowardly, carbonation cold-shouldering types like myself!

The level of temptation has been miniscule so far, but it’s still a habit to reach for the Coke bottle. I haven’t set myself a deadline for when to finally give in, and I think that’s the ethos I’m going to move forward with. No carbonated drinks for as long as I can hold out... How do you reckon I’ll do?