People who take online IQ tests are retarded

It's day four of my iPod-touch ownership, meaning I'm still goofing around with my new toy to see what it can do, which is why I bothered to download a free 'What's your IQ' app from the Top 25 Free section.

I wasn't exactly expecting a rigorous, scientific evaluation of my IQ level, but I wasn't expecting this level of farce - have a read of the screenshots and tell me how you think you'd do:

Many of the questions seem to have been pulled from the 'idiot test' meme that travelled around primary school playgrounds in my youth, and while a compelling App could be made from such grist, multiple-choice questions essentially defy the point.

So what was my result?

My IQ is 164? Interesting. Flattering, even. I decided to go back through the quiz, getting all the questions wrong along the way and see what I got.

110? Every question wrong is "slightly above average"? (unless I got one right accidentally like a retard). But please, Mr App, do continue! "Pretty impressive", you say? "None of these questions were easy", you reckon? Well, what have I learned about myself by doing this endeavour? "Keep your stomach and you can do anything".

(If only I knew what 'keeping my stomach' entailed.)

I had a look at the reviews on the App Store after, expecting to join my fellow nerds who were no doubt expectorating disdain for this celebration of mediocrity to tell the iPod Touching community to steer clear of it and stop prolonging its popularity.

I was mostly wrong:

The lesson I've learned today? Free, flattering Apps on the iPhone & iPod Touch are successful. Also, openly sharing your disgust at something free and so easily ignored is pretty pathetic, no matter what way you try to represent yourself.